Unruly, Adjective

The body that says ‘I am here’

disorderly

I am fat, with massive breasts that swing when untended and get raw where the bra meets the skin. Bad hearing in my right ear, horrifically nearsighted. Bone spurs in my ankles and the beginnings of bunions, rough and cracked heels. I get deep, painful zits under my arms and anywhere else my body touches my body. Stretch marks, birthmarks, moles, cellulite. Anemia. Keratosis pilaris on my upper arms, a perpetually itchy back. Hair that is half-fine, half-curly, gives up its curl easily except when it’s humid; beneath all of it, psoriasis on my scalp. Perpetually bad hangnails, nails I still chew on occasion, sandpaper elbow. A startlingly rare Simian crease on not one but both my palms. Dark, coarse hair beneath my chin. It doesn’t get any better when you go inside: My uterus is a mess—endometriosis, scar tissue, periods like crime scenes, cramps so bad I fold in half. A joint disorder that makes my cartilage bend like Gumby. My jaw clicks when I stretch it too wide. My body failed to make multiple permanent teeth; I still retain a single baby tooth at the top and have an implant at the bottom where the baby tooth fell out and nothing took its place. I have…