The 13 Guys You’ll Meet on a Dating App

An educational exercise

Deesha Philyaw
Gay Mag

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Illustration by Carmen Johns

Daz, 37

I’m a marriage-minded individual. That means I believe in marriage. I believe so strongly in everlasting marriage that I’ve added this photoshopped image of my disembodied head surrounded by interlocked wedding rings; the word “marriage” in a fancy, romantic font; a glass of red wine; a bottle of red wine; a piece of sheet music (the “Wedding March”); and a random piece of red fabric tossed ever so seductively, to represent your panties. When I’m not thinking about marrying you, I’m out here trying to save these kids from the Streets. On my bucket list: Getting Married.

E, 34

Females want you to jump through all kinds of hoops just to get a text back. That’s the wrong move to make with me because I’m not auditioning for shit. DON’T play with me. If you like wing flats, watching Power, and lowkey being threatened, get at me.

Marcus, 41

I’m just out here living life and loving life. And loving the life I’m living. Looking for that special lady who knows what she wants out of life. And how to live life and love life. To the fullest.

Derrick, 47

47-year-old male veteran, a very strong man. I speak my mind. Like a man. On the weekend…

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Deesha Philyaw
Gay Mag

Mouthy. Fed up. https://www.deeshaphilyaw.com/ Short story collection about Black women + sex + the Black church = THE SECRET LIVES OF CHURCH LADIES (Sept.2020)