Song of My Asshole

A lyrical guide to healing one’s sexually inflicted wounds

Rennie McDougall
Gay Mag

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Ilustration by Alicia Tatone

10.

IfIf a story needs an arc, a pleasing symmetry, then consider the rainbow, to be literal about queer symbols for a moment. A rainbow is irresolute, it has no beginning, no end. Patti LaBelle understood this. In one of her live renditions of “Over the Rainbow,” she ended by singing:

If a teeny weeny bird can fly,
Oh tell me why,
tell me why,
whyyy-y-y-y,
whyyyyyyyy,
whyyyyyyyyyyyyy caaaaaaaaan’t

9.

“The skin is all cut up,” says the first of many doctors, her rubber-gloved finger prodding at my anus. A knife-sharp pain shudders through me with each of her clumsy jabs, and her expression, as she nods in recognition of my distress, says This is not good (a look I believe all doctors should practice avoiding). Having moved to New York from Melbourne only months before, and needing medical attention without any health insurance, I was already distressed enough without her added alarm. Before I can even get my pants back up, as she moves away from me and snaps off her glove, she continues with similar tact by asking bluntly, “Are you gay?”

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Rennie McDougall
Gay Mag
Writer for

Writer in Brooklyn. Words in the Brooklyn Rail, Village Voice, Bookforum, Lapham’s Quarterly, Hyperalleric, The Monthly, The Lifted Brow www.renniemcdougall.com