My Bodies

How masculinity concealed my eating disorder

Alex McElroy
Gay Mag

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Illustration by Carmen Johns

I: The Fat Boy Body

TThe fat boy lives in the echo of laugh tracks. The fat boy, frequently freckled, speaks with the most idiotic of voices. He eats too much to be smart. His stomach jiggles. The red mark of a hand fades on his skin. The fat boy falls on his face. He sits in a chair and then splat: the chair collapses beneath him…

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Alex McElroy
Gay Mag

Author of THE ATMOSPHERIANS, a NY Times Editors’ Choice | Writing in The Cut, GQ, The Guardian, The Atlantic, Esquire, & at alexmcelroy.org. | they/them