For Magicians Who Die on Stage

On sleight of hand and believing spectacular people

jayy dodd.
Gay Mag
Published in
8 min readSep 4, 2019

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Illustration by Johnalynn Holland

FFor anyone open to amusement, the appeal of up-close magic is a reliable joy. Whether elaborate or gestural, sleight of hand is an easy way to garner simple reactionary awe, if not outright amazement, from an audience. Prestidigitation, translated directly to mean dexterous handwork, is an entry-level introduction to magic. The tenants of deception remain the same: present a premise, distract, & reveal a new reality. Even when explained it is never as easy as it looks.

II believed I knew what a drunk “looked” like. I imagined men glassy-eyed in bars or barreling in & out of homes without recourse. I imagined puffy cheeked women clinging to moving life in dark rooms or exhaling catatonic on (un)kept couches. I believed drunks were elsewhere, didn’t have friends or family to tell them. I was an arrogant drunk. A vain drunk.

I believed drunks were elsewhere, didn’t have friends or family to tell them. I was an arrogant drunk. A vain drunk.

Only one person ever called me an alcoholic to my face and he was too much of a monster otherwise for me to believe him. While it’s not his fault, he wasn’t able to show me that my act wasn’t working. It took me almost two…

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jayy dodd.
Gay Mag

“i have been celestial before, i will be celestial again” | writer, editor, artist | contact: jayy@jayydodd.net // she/her