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Erotic Despair

The Body in Love and Sickness

Illustration by Carmen Johns

ItIt begins in the synapses. Jesus, does it ever. First half a pill, and then a whole one, and I am floating in a twilight I remember from my early 20s of sad holidays with a boy who I loved and who hurt me, pills and a rumpled bed and drawn blinds and a flashing blue television.

Now, this time, the pills are to quell my anxiety and hopefully, in turn, an immune…




A new magazine from Roxane Gay offering some of the most interesting and thoughtful cultural criticism to be found on the Web. Our first quarterly is coming in June 2019. We value deep explorations, timelessness, and challenging conventional thinking without being cheap and lazy.

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Rachel Yoder

Rachel Yoder

author of Nightbitch (Doubleday)| founding editor @draftjournal |

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